2 minute read
The four-part message that ends arguments
Brief, informative, friendly, firm — and why each part matters.
Brief: three or four sentences. Long messages invite long replies, and every extra line is another thing to argue with.
Informative: facts and logistics only. No history, no feelings about them, no evidence-building.
Friendly: one civil opening line. It costs nothing and changes how the rest is read.
Firm: end it. No questions designed to provoke, and no invitation to keep going.
Take the last message you sent and cut it to four sentences. Notice what you lose — usually the part you wanted to say, not the part they needed.
Where this comes from: Bill Eddy, High Conflict Institute.
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