2 minute read
Money rows are meaning rows
Arguments about spending are usually about security, freedom, fairness or control. Find the meaning and the numbers get easier.
One person saves to feel safe. One spends to feel free. One tracks every pound to feel in control. One avoids the app to avoid dread. Same bank account, four different stories.
These "money scripts" tend to come from the house you grew up in. Naming yours to each other takes most of the heat out of the next row.
A short, regular money meeting with one shared screen and no blame works better than the big talk that never happens.
Agree what is joint, what is separate, and the amount above which you consult each other. Then stop relitigating it.
Each finish: "Growing up, money was…" and "When I spend, I feel…".
Where this comes from: Klontz, money scripts research; Gottman on finance conflicts.
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